In our life, we lose various things- car keys, mobile phones, money, love, time, people, friends and even our sanity, sometimes.
In the moments of loss, we regret misplacing things especially those that we need to live our day to day life. We sigh in contemplation for awhile and then we move on. Afterall, if these are just material things like money or the latest phone, they can be easily replaced in time.
While material things that are lost can be substituted with new ones, the loss of priceless things can be quite devastating. Genuine friendships, relationships, love, jobs, and time when they are truly lost, can be a heartbreaking experience. When these precious things are gone, some of us to fall into an abysmal sadness. The loss of a loved one for example is a depressing one and only time, as they say, can heal the wounds that are reminders of such a miserable episode.
This 2016 was a year of losing a lot of things in my life.
I lost two mobile phones due to my carelessness. I lost my savings for unexpected expenses. I lost keys and files.
I lost time for doing not-so-important things, when I should have been studying and doing more freelance work. I lost opportunities due to lazy days. I lost important moments to sickness and bad health. I lost track to wellness (I lost weight during the early part of the year and then gained again after months of stress-eating).
At mid-year I lost the trust of a friend due to an impertinent squabble. I lost the presence of old friends at work due to the unexpected turn of the tide.
Meanwhile, I lost my drive, motivation, concentration and inspiration to do the things I love most- writing. I lost some my confidence and gave in to self-doubts, isolation, depression and stress.
I lost a lot of reasoning to emotional madness. I lost good decisions to fear, dread and anxiety.
At the early part of the year I lost a dear cousin to lupus. And three months before this year ended, I lost a beloved uncle to heart failure.
Along the way, I lost a bit of faith. I lost some of my belief and conviction to animosity, feelings of bitterness and cynicism. I lost my daily prayers and devotions.
I lost a bit of myself over feelings of resentment and antipathy. I lost me.
What misfortunes, indeed for 2016! Mine was an inauspicious one; a year full of discouraging episodes and ill-starred events.
Today, on the last day of the year, I look back and I recall all the things I have lost, including myself. Why do I have to lose things along the way? Why do these adversities occur? Why do I need to get lost?
In contemplation, I think I found many precious lessons from these mislays.
They say that life is a cycle of losing and finding things. Some moments we keep, some we lose. We go on in this life catching up with a lot of lost time. We run after lost love and relationships. We seek vanished opportunities. We seek ourselves in various ways. All these we do, sometimes to no avail.
I realize now that we get lost from our track only to get back. Because it is in losing that we realize the worth of everything we own; not just the material possessions that we have, but our family, friends, work, time, opportunities, beliefs, ideals and our dreams.
We lose people we love and we find ourselves pondering on our own life, thinking what life has in store for us who are left. We lose time and then we envision on the days stretched for us, asking what we can possibly do to make the most out of every hour. We lose opportunities then we recall our big dreams, and we try to catch them again, one by one, inch by inch.
The beauty of losing things, therefore, is finding lessons in each loss, in each hurt and each misgiving. In losing, we try to seek again, and we battle our way to win back the chances of finding happiness in life.
In every horrible beginning, I believe there is a grand, happy ending. In getting lost, we find the best of what life offers.
Thus, this year, in the midst of losing, I am fortunate to have found back the values of love, faith, joy, inspiration and optimism. I found hope in the bleakest days.
I found God in every defeat. I found my worth in every doubt. I found the beauty of life in every ugly experience.
Losing is just finding the way back to my self once again. And this perhaps is the best ending of my 2016…